Caligula Minus the Shells

Historical Note:

In 40 AD, the Emperor Caligula announced he would conquer Britain and marched his army to the water’s edge of the English Channel.

Things didn’t work out, but Caligula was determined not to go back to Rome in humiliation.

So he had his troops devote their time to walking the beaches, gathering seashells. It was menial, and it was useless, and the army was not at all happy. They had trained for combat, not seashells.

He then had the troops load up sacks with the shells. Back in Rome, the troops marched through the streets with what the cheering crowds were told were riches won in glorious battle. It didn’t help his image when folks figured out they were cheering for shells.

Modern note:

In 2025, Donald Trump had troops march into the streets of Washington to fight crime. Things didn’t work out. Crime was already down because police were doing a pretty good job. The local populace resented the intrusion and protested some of the excesses of the ICE secret police.

So Trump had the troops walk around safe tourist spots where crime didn’t much happen. And he had those in military service, people who had trained for combat, devote their time to picking up litter.

Trumpsters around the country cheer as they are told troops are battling criminals.

Additional parallel:

Caligula became known as a coward and a bully and a sexual predator, who used his power to attack anyone who dared to criticize, ordered his closest aides to exalt him, and demanded his subjects worship him as a god.

1,985 years later, history rhymes.
No seashells this time.


One response to “Caligula Minus the Shells”

  1. Infidel753 Avatar

    I thought some time ago that Trump was the least-suitable leader of a superpower since Caligula.

    At least Caligula committed that seashell idiocy far from his capital city, where few people would see it. Trump is wasting the military’s time in Washington DC.

    As far as I know Caligula didn’t try to deny his soldiers their regular pay for the time wasted collecting shells. Trump is limiting Guard activations to 29 days so that the soldiers won’t get the benefits they’re entitled to on activations of 30 days or longer.

    Trump hasn’t impregnated his sister as Caligula did, but there’s all that creepy behavior around Ivanka…..

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